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July 10, 2004
Fashion Observations

OK, maybe I'm too much of a hermit. I mean, it's tempting to stay in front of the computer, but I really ought to get out more often. So I took my Mom to dinner tonight, nothing fancy. Just a country-style buffet place (with steaks!)

But something struck me as odd.

From my observations, I concluded that we have a denim shortage in this country.

What, you might ask, is your evidence?

I saw scores — hundreds, even — of young women strolling around, and their bluejeans simply were not high-rising enough to reach the bottoms of their shirts/blouses. The same applied to the women in denim skirts and shorts. Obviously, I concluded, a market shortage has forced the price of denim so high that clothing makers are skimping.

Then my Mom noted that it's the fashion these days to bare the midriff. Sigh. Yet another setback for empirical observational science.

Mom - 1; science - 0.

That being the case, I have a purely subjective comment or two to make. To those ladies, girls, and other womenfolk:

1) You look like hookers. Unless you really are a hooker, knock it off.

     1a) If you really are a hooker, find some place other than a family restaurant to ply your trade.

2) If your gut sticks out farther in front of you than your boobs do, you might want to rethink the whole bare midriff concept.

     2a) It's just... just... so wrong...

     2b) And it's seriously repulsive — like Spandex at a Jenny Craig newcomers' night.

3) While it may be marginally tolerable for plumbers to do so, flashing butt-crack is not considered de rigeur, nor is it as attractive as you may think it is.

4) What the heck are you doing with a tattoo on the small of your back?

     4a) Is that supposed to mean something?

     4b) Do your parents know about this?

Thank you for your attention.

Posted by Russ at 09:44 PM, July 10, 2004 in Memoranda & Miscellany

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Advice To the World* from Brain Fertilizer
2) If your gut sticks out farther in front of you than your boobs do, you might want to rethink the whole bare midriff concept. You can read the rest here.... [Read More]

Tracked on July 21, 2004 01:38 PM


Okay Russ - I'm laughing like crazy, but you neglected the possibility that the shortage/lack of denim in the female wardrobe may account for the overage in the young male wardrobe. Is ANYthing uglier than trousers that have the crotch located at the knee area? Or the knee area UNDER the Nikes?

Posted by: mom at July 10, 2004 10:06 PM

Then I guess a meeting in person is out of the question for us, Russ. Unless I buy new clothes first.

I love my low waisted stuff and I will never go back to the high waisted fashions ever ever!

Posted by: Ith at July 10, 2004 10:45 PM

Oh, hit post too fast there... the small of the back tattoos seem to be the most popular with women. If I ever had the nerve to get one, that's where I'd put mine too.

Posted by: Ith at July 10, 2004 10:47 PM

In your case, since we've already been "introduced," I'm willing to make an exception.

It takes a certain non-zero level of previously-established respectabilty (AND the appropriate physique) to get away with the low-cut stuff. The higher the former is, the lower the latter can be, and vice-versa.

IMHO, of course.

Posted by: Russ at July 10, 2004 11:54 PM

As long as the physique is worth showing off, I say the barer the midriff the better!

Posted by: Beck at July 11, 2004 12:30 AM

One is tempted to intone "...just say no to crack" but Ogden Nash had it best:

Sure! deck your lower limbs in pants,
Yours are the limbs my sweeting.
You look devine as you advance;
Have you seen yourself retreating?

Posted by: Stephen at July 12, 2004 01:59 PM

I meant to get back to this earlier, but....

I think it's a matter of degree. I like low rise stuff, mainly because it is so much more comfortable. (And it doesn't catch on my naval piercing) But I'm not wearing pants that show my pelvic bones like I see around. God, when I see those I keep expecting their pants to fall down altogether! Depending on the top I'm wearing, I'm either all covered, or there's just peek of midriff. And it depends on where I am too. There's a difference in what one wears to work as opposed to going out.

Just wanted to clarify cus I wasn't sure on second thought if we were talking about the same thing.

Posted by: Ith at July 14, 2004 04:17 PM