Idiots Archive

... by Greg Gutfeld's smackdown of Keith Olbermann on last night's Red Eye.

[After watching the video at the link above, you can read what was bleeped at the Daily Gut.]

I do love the Red Eye. It almost makes being on the second shift worthwhile.

Maybe we should just call them "aborigines" and be done with it.

Subtitled "Joe Explains It All":

It is not your money.

Rep. Joe Knollenberg, Republican of Michigan, inadvertently explaining why the GOP lost big in 2006 and 2008.

It's time, I would say, for a RINO hunt.

(Via Hot Air.)

We already know the media are in the tank for Obama. Glenn Reynolds, the Instapundit:

A READER AT A MAJOR NEWSROOM EMAILS: "Off the record, every suspicion you have about MSM being in the tank for O is true. We have a team of 4 people going thru dumpsters in Alaska and 4 in arizona. Not a single one looking into Acorn, Ayers or Freddiemae. Editor refuses to publish anything that would jeopardize election for O, and betting you dollars to donuts same is true at NYT, others. People cheer when CNN or NBC run another Palin-mocking but raising any reasonable inquiry into obama is derided or flat out ignored. The fix is in, and its working." I asked permission to reprint without attribution and it was granted.

The abrogation of their responsibilities by the fourth estate does more than shock the sensibilities, it shatters any pretense they may have towards objectivity or even credibility.

Think back with me a few years. On the eve of the 2000 election, Fox News — the allegedly right-wing Fox News — broke the story of candidate Bush's 1976 DUI.

Would CNN or any of the broadcast networks do the same if Obama's transgressions were the story?

The answer is obviously a resounding "no."

On the plus side, that obviousness does lead those who are interested enough in the political news process to apply the appropriate skepticism. I stopped trusting most journalism a long time ago.

On the down side, most people aren't interested enough, and swallow whatever they're fed, even poison, if it comes with a spoonful of sugar.

(Via the Anchoress.)

The title of this post comes from a Tom Clancy novel, I think it was Clear and Present Danger. (I wish I knew where my copy was — I have all the Jack Ryan novels in hardback... somewhere.) The son of a spec-ops sergeant has an unwanted encounter with a journalist, and pointedly refuses to believe that said reporter will do what he promises he will do. That has stuck with me like very few passages from novels have.

I just wish I was sure which book it was. I guess now I have to re-read them all.

People are flipping out over an interview Charlie Rangel (D-NY) gave:

The question was simple: Why are the Democrats so afraid of Palin and her popularity?

The answer was astonishing.

"You got to be kind to the disabled," Rangel said.

Bear in mind here: though I'm still trying to wrap my head around the concept, the fact is that I'm disabled.

The exact language of the question would have helped here; "You got to be kind to the disabled" doesn't answer the question "Why are they afraid?"

On the other hand, why would Rangel — an undeniably astute politician — even think to use the word "disabled" in an answer about Sarah Palin?

Of course, he then went on towards full foot/mouth insertion:

That's right. The chairman of the powerful House Ways & Means Committee called Palin disabled — even when CBS 2 HD called him on it.

CBS 2 HD: "You got to be kind to the disabled?"

Rangel: "Yes."

CBS 2 HD: "She's disabled?"

Rangel: "There's no question about it politically. It's a nightmare to think that a person's foreign policy is based on their ability to look at Russia from where they live.

Rangel's criticism of Palin could have taken many forms, but here, he's just being incredibly stupid.

Stupidity is no excuse. Just ask Trent Lott.

So, rather than be outraged [major language alert] I'll just feel pity towards the stupid old man.

The desperation of the Left is palpable: The latest Sarah Palin smear from the Left: teen molester.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be so filled with hate.

OK, no they don't.

First, go watch the video posted at The Crescat.

Is it real, or is it satire? I don't think it matters, as it is an excellent example, real or not.

Having grown up and spent most of my life in California, including the reliably silly and perniciously leftist Bay Area, I've seen more than my fair share of people like those.

They always struck me as being utter morons, and to be honest, they should spend a little less time communing with rocks and trees, and a lot more time communing with soap and water.

(Via the Anchoress.)

I think we can stop using the terms "mainstream media" or "legacy media."

Faced with a loss of market share and influence, and the increasing influence of new online media, members of the Obama Press Corps are flinging themselves suicidally against Sarah Palin in an effort to sink the GOP campaign, and ruining the one thing that ought to be most precious to anyone in journalism: their own credibility.

They are now the kamikaze media.

For numerous examples, see the Anchoress' Running Sarah Palin Thread of Hate & Doooom, and see one type of backlash, from Michelle Malkin.

Welcome to our big tent, Bruce.

Sure, some of us who wear the Republican label can occasionally do remarkably dumb things, but we try not to make a habit of it.

Sometime in the past couple of days this site got hacked. My archives are a bit hosed, with spam hyperlinks installed on the pages. It looks llike it happened sometime between Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon.

I'm working on cleaning it up.

More to the point, I've finally been spending time working on the MT4 upgrade, and I think I finally have a grip on the templating issues. I may, however, make the switch first, then worry about templates, styles, and designs.

So don't be surprised if the look here changes suddenly, without (further) warning.

Update: So... what do you think so far? I hope comments are working....

Channelling Reynolds: "They said that if Bush were reelected, political speech that might tarnish the leader's image would be squelched, even outlawed — and they were right!"

Hence the effort to shout down noted writer Stanley Kurtz, who's been doing some research.

One female caller, when pressed about what precisely she objected to, simply replied, "We just want it to stop!"

Of course, the efforts of the Obama camp are not meant to pass for discourse — they're merely pulling every lever they can to silence opposing voices.

They know that the Messiah's ties to unrepentant terrorist Bill Ayers, if widely publicized, would be a deal-breaker for the majority of the voting public.

And that simply cannot be allowed to happen.

Taliban suicide troops attack US forces in Afghanistan, with predictable results.

Perhaps they should have watched a training video or two:

I know, it's late, but I finished work late, just had dinner, and now I've got the itch.

Via Instapundit, a bit on the U.S.News & World Report website:

One Nation, Under a New Obama Salute

George Bush had his three-fingered W salute that supporters flashed when greeting him at presidential campaign events in 2000. And now, if a Los Angeles creative agency gets its way, Sen. Barack Obama will see fans meet him with his own salute like the one above.

"Our goal is to see a crowd of 75,000 people at Obama's nomination speech holding their hands above their heads, fingers laced together in support of a new direction for this country, a renewed hope, and acceptance of responsibility for our future," says Rick Husong, owner of The Loyalty Inc.

I can tell you one thing that goes in a circle, millions of times daily. Accompanied by a flushing sound.

On the plus side, as long as people are making that symbol, you know their fingers aren't in your wallet.

Husong tells me that he got the idea after seeing the famous Obama-Progress poster by artist Shepherd Fairey.

OK, OK, the one that did come from a socialist agit-prop specialist.

I swear, the more I see of Obama the more I think he should have bypassed Berlin, saved a few steps and a lot of time, and given that "citizen of the world" speech at Nuremberg.

Coming soon: natty little armbands with the Obama logo.

Update: Michelle has more ideas for appropriate symbolism. And she beat me to the story, too. Dang.

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a hippie?

A: A rottweiler.

(Brought to mind by this: 5 "Rainbows" arrested in clash with officers.)

I try to keep this blog to a "PG" rating. I really do.

Today, I'm close to failing.

“Illegal immigrants face threat of no college.”

Some states are making it harder for illegal immigrants to attend college by denying in-state tuition benefits or banning undocumented students.

In the past two years, Arizona, Colorado, Georgia and Oklahoma have refused in-state tuition benefits to students who entered the USA illegally with their parents but grew up and went to school in the state. That represents a reversal from earlier this decade, when 10 states passed laws allowing in-state rates for such students.

This summer, South Carolina became the first state to bar undocumented students from all public colleges and universities.

North Carolina's community colleges in May ordered its 58 campuses to stop enrolling undocumented students after the state attorney general said admitting them may violate federal law.

(via Malkin)

John Hinderaker, at Powerline:

There's a sucker born every minute...

... but a sucker like Jimmy Carter comes along only once or twice in a century.

If he'd stuck to building houses for the poor, he might have been forgiven for being the worst President we've ever had. Until a few years ago, I was certainly prepared to let him off with a wrist-slapping. Now? Not only is he the worst President we've ever had, he's the worst ex-President, too. Quite an accomplishment.

Best ex-President ever? I'm undecided, but I'd consider Herbert Hoover, if for no other reason than his creation of the Hoover Institution.

Hot Air, Michelle Malkin, and Gateway Pundit (and undoubtedly scores of others) are all over the story of Nancy Pelosi's made-up Bible verses, which she trots out when she's trying to convince us clingy rubes that Earth Day is a biblical imperative. To wit:

The Bible tells us in the Old Testament, ‘To minister to the needs of God’s creation is an act of worship. To ignore those needs is to dishonor the God who made us.’

This, from a woman whose main base of support consists of people who are extremely unlikely to read, much less obey, God's word.

Query: what other verses has she made up to support her stands on:

• Abortion


• Tax Increases


• Gun Control


• Tort Reform

"Blessed are those who visualize world peace, for it is better to visualize peace than to actually go and make the peace."

Meh.

Please make suggestions in the comments.

Update: This story got me thinking; I knew there was an appropriate real passage from the Bible that might address this topic. It took a while, but I found it, in Paul's letter to the Romans, chapter 1, verse 25:

They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator — who is forever praised. Amen.

That sounds precisely like what Pelosi is doing.

So... ELF doesn't like fancy houses. I think that today, in their honor, I'll go pour a can of motor oil into the local lake.

Those ELF tools are the people for whom the expression "DIAF" was coined.

Do you have your cell service from T-Mobile? Think they're pretty good?

Think again.

You might want to keep your distance. Just in case, I mean.

Well, here's a shocker: Anti-Military Lawyer Damages Marine's Car on Eve of Deployment.

A paternity lawyer... which is ironic, really, as his own parentage might be considered an issue.

Felony? Disbar. Hit him where it hurts.

Tanker at Mostly Cajun, in the latest installment of "The Name Game," notes:

No, people, exactly what are you supposed to do when you come to an apostrophe in a name? Stop and hiccup? Stomp your foot for emphasis? Ring a tiny little bell?

The late great Victor Borge would have instinctively known what to do.

If anyone else were to talk like this, family members would be shaking their heads and muttering about how maybe it was time to put grand-dad in a home.

But it's just a ranting loon Democrat congressman, so I guess it's par for the course.

Via Stop the ACLU, we find that Thomas Friedman today writes in the New York Times:

You may think Guantánamo Bay is a prison camp in Cuba for Al Qaeda terrorists. A lot of the world thinks it’s a place we send visitors who don’t give the right answers at immigration.

Doing your utmost to convince the world we're eeeeee-vil and then afterwards complaining that they think so calls to mind the story of the convicted parricide who pleads to the judge for leniency because he is an orphan.

My original assessment of Friedman stands.

Within minutes of reading this from Kevin at Wizbang!, I got one of the scam/spam (hereafter to be abbreviated "s[c|p]am") emails referred to.

Quechup: evil — read the above link for an explanation.

A modicum of sanity in Oregon, where charges of felonious butt-swatting against two 13-year-old boys have been dropped. I don't care who you are, butt-swatting when a 13-year-old should in no way mark you as a sex offender for life. Indeed, I can't think of too many things a 13-year-old can do that ought to label them for life. Are you the same person now that you were when you were 13?

Steve H. prognosticates. He may be on to something there. Me, I think we're looking at a major redefinition of the term "boob-tube."

No, Gary, it's not just you.

Garofalo to join cast of "24." Fonzie to jump shark.

Louisiana Democrats attack Bobby Jindal's religion. (Isn't Louisiana a heavily Catholic state?) They once tried a whisper campaign about his ethnicity, so this really comes as no surprise. That they have to take his words out of context is not only unsurprising, it's pretty much the standard modus operandi for Democrats these days.

John Edwards: not so bright. Less bright: the people who ever voted for him for anything.

Breaking and entering? Illegal. Squatting? Not so much.

LOL, cat.

A news clipping from my hometown newspaper from a few months ago:

Scooter hits 2 vehicles
3 drivers get citations

Right away we know we have a winner of an article, here.

Santa Barbara - A 27-year-old Santa Barbara man riding on a homemade scooter — a lawnmower engine attached to a skateboard deck — hit two vehicles Tuesday afternoon at rush hour after his brakes failed.

Homemade scooter... in traffic... at rush hour. Bong hits required: seven, minimum.

The man was approaching the intersection of Old Coast Road and Hot Springs Road

One of the busiest intersections in town, I might mention. A nearly perfect place to audition for the next "Faces of Death" video.

and "clipped" one vehicle in the rear while "slaloming" between cars in an attempt to slow down, said Santa Barbara police Lt. Paul McCaffrey. He then rear-ended a stopped vehicle and was ejected from the seat of his unlicensed, unregistered scooter, which flew backward and struck the vehicle behind.

Inspector Clouseau could hardly have done better. But here's the punchline:

The operator of the scooter possessed a suspended license, the driver of the rear vehicle was unlicensed, and the driver of the front vehicle possessed an expired licence — all received citations. The drivers of the vehicles were uninjured, and the scooter operator was taken to Cottage Hospital for minor injuries. [emphasis mine - R.]

The traffic trifecta!

Based on the content of the article, and knowing my hometown as I do, I would bet money that:

1. the scooter driver (suspended license) would fall into the category of "burnt-out druggie surfer,"
2. the rear vehicle driver (no license) was an illegal alien, and
3. the front vehicle driver (expired licence) was a citizen of extremely advanced years.

All three categories of which, I might add, Santa Barbara has in abundance.

There's no place like home, indeed.

Goose.

Once again, Hollywood provides ample evidence that while beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes clean through to the bone.

I am sick and bloody tired of everything having to be dumbed-down so that the idiots among us can keep up. Case in point: today I opened up a new pack of cotton swabs, no problem there. As I was putting the package away, however, I noticed the information printed on the back.

CAUTION: Do not enter ear canal. Use only as directed. Entering the ear canal could cause injury. Keep out of reach of children.

Every pack of swabs you can buy in this country will have a similar warning. Yet, is there anyone using these things for anything other than plumbing the depths of auditory regions into which a pinkie finger cannot fit?

To clean ears, stroke swab gently around the outer surface of the ear.

Look, I could do that with a washcloth. I do do that with a washcloth. More to the point, though... who actually needs instructions for operating a cotton swab? How utterly stupid do you have to be to... to...

[Count to ten....]

I almost burst a blood vessel there.

To Open
Press in bottom center and pull up along perforation.

To Reclose
Return cover to original position, pressing in corners (1) to lock.

(Remember that "(1)" — we'll come back to it in a second.)

Now, maybe it's just me, but I figure that if people can't puzzle out how to open a package of swabs, perhaps they deserve to have dirty ears. For the riders of the short bus, however, our swab manufacturer has decided not only to tell us how to open the package, but also precisely what and where the bottom center is.

Oh, and how thoughtful it was of them to mark the corners (1).

If closing a pack of swabs is just too damn difficult to muddle through without directions — or without a hint of what is meant by "corners" — then perhaps spending one's free time every day playing "pick all the swabs up off the floor" is the right way for idiots to keep themselves out of the public arena, or to prevent them doing themselves (or more importantly, me) any harm.

Actually, I kind of wish people that amazingly stupid would take themselves out of the gene pool, but unfortunately when idiots go out in a blaze of ignorance, they tend to take innocent bystanders with them.

I swear, I want to pull out what's left of my hair.

Part 1 of ABC's docudrama The Path to 9/11 airs tonight and, as Tigerhawk points out (h/t: Prof R) due to the Democrats' incessant blathering in every available media outlet about the unfairness of it all, it'll likely have a significantly larger audience than it would have, had the community of Clinton defenders simply pretended the miniseries didn't exist.

No one I know of is claiming that the miniseries is completely accurate, any more than The Longest Day was a 100% completely faithful account of the D-Day landings — but that movie is still a good way to learn about the Normandy invasion.

Perhaps this can be an object lesson for the Left on the difference between "reality" and "reality-based."

Jeff Goldstein and his family are under attack again. Known nutcase Deb Frisch is the presumptive malefactor.

The far fringes of the Left cannot out-argue Jeff on the points, so instead they try to silence him in other ways. One has, for the moment, succeeded... I hope it's only for the very short term.

Warning: there may be some extremely vile language in some of these links. Deb is not a rational person, and tends to inspire, shall we say, strong feelings in the comments of people who disagree with her.

Jeff
Ace
Curtis Schweitzer

I did a traceroute based on the IP address Ace posted - see a similar result at DNSstuff.com.

Hop number 14 in the traceroute linked above is at a device called eugn-dsl-gw01-97.eugn.qwest.net, which to those of us in the networking business shows that the destination address connects to a DSL gateway router in Eugene, Oregon. Surprise, surprise... this is the area of the country in which the ex-professor Frisch has said she resides.

Coincidentally, this is the same gateway that Deb was connected to the last time she pulled this crap, immediately before her departure from the University of Arizona. [I helped Jeff with the IP, DNS and other lookups at that time.]

It's time for Deb Frisch to disappear into the confines of a cell, padded or otherwise, and down the memory hole as well.

Internet verb, indeed.

Update(s) below the fold...

The tv guide's description for tonight's episode of "Digging for the Truth" on the History Channel:

Homer's "Iliad" may be fact or fiction.

You don't say?

Following columnist Robert Novak's revelation earlier this week that the source for the "outing" of Valerie Plame was not in fact Vice President Cheney, Karl Rove, or any of the usual people lefties wish to see in handcuffs and shackles, Plame and her husband "Lying Joe" Wilson have filed a civil suit against those same people.

It seems that the very people who are not being prosecuted by the government for leaking are being sued for the damage their not-leaking may have done.

Suing people for damaging your reputation would be a legitimate thing to do, but in Joe Wilson's case, perhaps it might be best to disappear off the radar of publicity. The idea of such a suit is to gain back your reputation, but this case will almost certainly destroy Wilson's. If this suit ever goes to trial, old Joe is going to have his ass handed to him. There will undoubtedly be uncomfortable questions a-plenty.

Personally, I'd rather like to hear his explanation of how he could report one set of Niger facts to congress, and then publicly use a contradictory set of facts (read: "lie") in the NY Times in an attempt to damage the President. Now that is something that ought to be lawsuit-worthy....

Joe Wilson seems determined to go down in history as the man who put the "ass" in "ambassador."

If you're going to have a group called "Iraq Veterans Against the War" you might consider having actual veterans going public.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion; no one is entitled to lie.

Almost three years ago, I suggested that the Racketeering, Influence and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) statutes be used against the Association of Trial Lawyers of America, who line their pockets at our expense, for very little actual return.

Today at Captain's Quarters, Ed has some related news.

Ted Rall is a scumbag. Other people agree.

But of course, you'd already know what I thought of him if you'd been reading this site in June of last year.

Yes, I was pissed off. Seriously so.

O.J. Simpson — signing autographs for a fee?

I guess Charles Manson was unavailable.

Space shuttle Columbia . . . check.

Gas prices . . . check.

And now New Orleans flooding . . . check.

What's next?

I can see it now...

Bush Administration Ignoring Clean Air Standards

Scientists Predict Spike in Air Pollution Levels

The destructive power of hurricane Katrina was seemingly diminished by comparison today when EPA Administrator and Bush crony Stephen L. Johnson unleashed his full fury on the environment.

Using the pretense of weather-induced shortages of oil and gas, Johnson – known to be in the pocket of Big Oil – today suspended critical life-saving standards for sulphur and volatility in diesel fuel and gasoline. The suspension is allegedly scheduled to last through the 15th of September, though trusted sources say the "temporary" suspension is an obvious prelude to the permanent dismantling of clean air standards.

In a response, the Center for Science in the Public Interest announced their prediction that air pollution levels would skyrocket, soaring by an estimated 0.0004 percent.

"The none-too-subtle machinations of the Halliburton-Enron-Cheney axis are finally bearing their poisoned fruit," said one scientist, who explained the tie-dyed ski-mask he wore by suggesting he might otherwise meet with an untimely accident. "This hurricane is clearly the biggest put-up job in all of recorded history."

"Come the revolution," noted another scientist, boldly clad in an coordinated ensemble of "No Nukes" apparel, "the clean air standards will be returned to their pre-Bush levels, then we will continue to extend them. CO₂ must be reduced, and if millions, or perhaps billions of people have to stop breathing in order to meet our clean air goals, well, that's a small price to pay for saving Mother Gaia."

"What about Kyoto?" added a third scientist, delicately emphasizing the point by pounding one of her Birkenstocks on the table. "We must end the national and global obsession with this 'liquid crack,' and if we have to force people to do without, it's only because we know best."

Bush administration officials declined to comment.

In related news, the sky is falling.

There's one particular thing that strikes me about the entire Cindy Sheehan to-do: the invasion of Iraq began over two years ago, and it's taken this long for the hardcore moonbat Left to find a Gold Star mother who would front for them in a very public way.

There are approximately 1,800 mothers who have lost a son or daughter* in Iraq, and Michael Moore's Marching Moonbat Mob has been able to find one mother willing to seek such notoriety.†

I'll be generous and allow that the Left might have 100 or more such parents to trot out on demand. The numbers nevertheless speak for themselves.

More (and more ably done) commentary here, here, here, here, and here. Particularly noteworthy is the post at Iraq the Model.

* They are sons and daughters, but most assuredly not children. The loaded question "would you send your child to die?" is disingenuous on every level. They are neither children nor chattel, and they are not sent in order to die. Every person serving in the military is a volunteer, and though we know some will inevitably die in service to their country — in combat, in accidents — "we purpose not their deaths when we purpose their services."

If I had a son of military age, I would be proud beyond my ability to describe, if he were to choose to serve his country in the military.

† At last count there were approximately 60 families involved with Gold Star Families for Peace, but none who have allowed themselves to be used by the anti-American Left to quite the extent Cindy Sheehan has.

Chris Johnson of Midwest Conservative Journal links to a must-read column by conservative filmmaker Jason Apuzzo.

Hollywood has chosen sides in the war against islamofascism. It's not our side.

"American Dreamz." This ’satire’ from Universal Pictures deals with Pakistani suicide bombers out to kill the US president. The film stars Hugh Grant, Richard Dreyfuss, Willem Dafoe and Mandy Moore. According to writer-director Paul Weitz ("American Pie"), "The film is a comic examination of ... cultural obsessions" like the War on Terror "and how they can anaesthetise us to the actual issues of our day."

"The actual issues of our day" according to Weitz [a name the islamonazis would surely take note of] do not, apparently, include the concern that there are people out there who would just as soon decapitate everyone in Hollywood as look at them.

And that's just one of many like-minded movies in the production sewer pipe pipeline. The movie studios have apparently decided to disregard their customers' sensibilities (and that whole "profit" thing) for the sake of better reviews from the likes of Roger Ebert and the accolades of Eurotrash nancy-boys at Cannes (and the Eurotrash-wannabee nancy-boys at Sundance.) They prefer to make anti-American propaganda than to risk the chance that a pro-American film might be seen as supporting President Bush. One wonders what they would be doing if Kerry had been elected.

Either way, John Wayne wouldn't have put up with crap like that.

To take the late Douglas Adams slightly out of context, people like those who green-lighted these projects are "a bunch of mindless jerks who will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes." And they'll have no idea why anyone should be so upset.

Russell Wardlow has more commentary.

[Updated]

When Columbia was lost 2½ years ago, one of the first reactions of the insane far left was "MIHOP," the idea being that President Bush had conspired towards the destruction of the shuttle (possibly with the intent of blaming sabotage for the tragedy) in order to raise the general patriotism and Israel-friendliness (due to the loss of Israeli astronaut Ilan Ramon) of the